These are the thoughts of a Texas transplant in West Michigan who makes his living as a newspaper reporter by evening, and a struggling novelist by day.

Friday, December 15, 2006

no more poking the religious bear

it's official. things came toa head thursday night between j.b. and j.h.

at 11:38 p.m. on thursday, dec. 14 it was declared there will never be anymore discussion about concerning religion between both men.

so it shall be said, so it shall be written.

the origins of the proclamation, oddly enough, started with "south park." j.b. sid the tv show was cowardly for not making fun of islam. j.h. said islam has no figures depicted like saints or jesus or god, in the christian sense, and therefore hard to make fun of.

then it escalated into christmas pictures, beliefs and krishna (to lazy to look up correct spelling). the bear was poked enough. enough to where it stood up on its hind legs and roared rather loudly, quelling the conversation.

and so it came to pass, my friends,that religion between j.b. and j.h. will no longer be a topic to mull over either pleasantly or otherwise.

i guess next time we'll just have to stick to chatting about curling. it's a safe enough subject. or is it???

Thursday, December 14, 2006

the spirit of ted nugent

no, seriously, for a split second the spirit of michigan's favorite son was inside my body. don't laugh, it's true.

wednesday night i had to take a trip to laketown twp. for a meeting, quite unexpected i might add, but i'm glad i went. i snuck out some free cookies from a table in the foyer area of the felt mansion, where the meeting was held.

owever, let me digress to ted.

dawn's driving. we went down 32nd and headed south on 64th st.we thought we got the right street and turned west. it turned out t be laketown beach. we didn't quite go far south enough.

dawn reverses and we're off. we're on 66th, and are about to go around a curve, when dawn braked hard. i asked what was up. she said a deer.

i ooked up and sure enough, off to the right side of the road, a deer was standing not 20 feet away looking at us. i think it was blinded by the car's headlights.

it was a doe and big. it had meat on her. we must have stopped the car for a good 20 seconds before the doe finally walked off (not run off) into the woods.

however, it was during this brief moment tht ted's spirit flowed into me. i pictured myself slowly lowering the window of the car. then i reach behind me and bring out my trusty bow. i place an arrow in the notch and bring the bow out of the window. i pull the arrow back.

the doe and i (and ted) become one. eyes lock, the doe's wide-eyed, mine calm and focused. i release the arrow and it flies through the air.

then dawn says, to be quiet, you're not a hunter.

that breaks the spell, ted's spirit departs. i look around, i have not bow in my hands. instead, i'm gripping a tape recorder and a notebook pad. i blink. the doe makes its way out of the car's lights.

we move on, having been all the better for having seen a small piece of nature in its habitat. hopefully deer season will lapse and the doe will still be alive to romp another year in the allegan forests in laketown. as long as thsoe blood-thirsty melon heads don't sneak up on the doe and kill it.

does anyone know the lyrics to "cat scratch fever???"