someone's always got it worse

i was grumbling this morning about not being able to get ahead of the game financially.

dawn woke me up and said she'd redone some tax info. and it turns out we're getting less from the state than she'd first thought. however, we're still paying the same from the gov. so we can't really use peter to pay paul.

in other words, we have to do some shifting with our finances.

so i get up not really pissed off but a more frustrated than anything else, especially now that dawn has a permanent gig. yet, we have to rearrange things.

so i wash up and jump online to check my e-mail, look at headlines. i see i have a new e-mail from my friend debra in north carolina titled "bad news."

i clicked on it and it was a short e-mail, but it said all it needed to. her parents' house caught fire earlier today and they weren't able to bring her mother out alive.

that stopped me in my tracks and melted away all the frustration i'd been feeling. i couldn't imagine what my friend was going through. here i was complaining about income taxes and finances and my frend's mother died in a house fire. that really puts things in perspective.

to be honest, i'd slipped the past few weeks. i'd lost sight of things and my brain had been wracked with things it wasn't supposed to. i'd been chastizing myself for it because i knew i'd lost sight of the important things in life again.

it's not easy to keep things clear, especially when there are situations and circumstances around you that try to overwhelm and smother you. to quote a franklin covey video, you get caught up in the whirlwind. well, i try to stay out of that sonofabitch as much as i can.

last night my dad was taken to the hospital. he's fine now, but he lookied like he was dying, according to my mom. he looked really bad. his white cell count was at 700 and 1400 is considered low. he had fever and he'd urinated blood. he couldn't even get in and out of the car by himself. today he sounded better when i talked to him, although he can have only few visitors and then they have to wear a mask.

so, yeah, once again perspective is so important. keep sight of the big picture and focus on those things that matter most.

my heart goes out to my friend. it really does.