the library receipt

we're doing fine. we continue to love each other, hug and kiss, joke and gernally have a good time.

i think the miscarriage did bring dawnie and me closer. i can't explain it and it's not really any thing we do outwardly, it's just us now.

while looking through a book friday (i neededit as art for an article i wrote), i came across one of the receipts we get after we check out books or videos at the library. it says the check out date, title of book or material and due date. the receipt was being used as a bookmark, i think.

i sually don't glance at them. i knew what it was and should have crumpled it up and thrown it away, as i do with most of them. this time, though, i made it a point to look at it.

there were two books checked out. they were books on pregnancy and pregnancy after 35. i stared at the titles for awhile, remembering, just remembering. and it made me sad to think of the miscarriage and what was and what could have been and the excitement.

i know from what the doctor has said that the likeliest reason for the miscarriage was something wrong with the embryo. it was not to be carried to full term. i have accepted it. no problem.

still, coming across the slip of paper caused me to pause and think of the week and some days when we knew we were pregnant. it did make me smile, though, as i am now. i guess it's ok.

oh well, what can yo do? move on, remember, reflect, but move on.