These are the thoughts of a Texas transplant in West Michigan who makes his living as a newspaper reporter by evening, and a struggling novelist by day.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

numbing control

let it be known that i enjoy a nice, cool glass of jack and coke. it's no secret, really. if mixed well, it's refreshing. if too much of the sour mash is added, then things begin to look a little odd and sounds are muffled.

in the past few weeks i've encountered myself on the verge of too much. don't get me wrong, i'm not shit-faced drunk or anything. i know what's happening and wake up fine the following morning. as i said, i'm on the verge.

recently we were at a downtown establishment and found ourselves with $2.25 drinks. what a deal, we thought. we must take advantage of that. normally these drinks are double that cost.

i zipped through one pretty quickly and started on another. at that point we found out that there was an error adn the drinks were only that price for special guests. we were not included. afterward, we got one drink at full price (the second free). then i went and started ona third one.

i should have known better. i began sipping at it and realized halfway through that things were beginning to happen. i was beginning to feel detached, sensewise. that's the best way i can describe the feeling. there was no spinning room or upset stomach or anything, not even slurred speech (although i doubt if i could get behind the wheel of a car).

i think my internal alarm went off. it's the alarm that tells me if i continue sipping on that jack and coke, you're going to lose control. so i put the brakes on. it happens most times.

over the past months when we get together to do various things and i get my drink on, i slow it down. i begin to sip slower and infrequently.

after this last time, we came back home and sat around and talked for awhile. that's all it took. my head cleared, the voices sounded unmuffled and i was back in the room.

i can't be out of control. i need to be in charge of my faculties. i guess that's why i can never get drunk, i mean shit-faced drunk. if i lose it, then who knows what will happen. god knows, i won't know because i won't be able to control myself.

so raise your glasses and three cheers to my internal alarm for letting me know when it's time to chill it out.