not the news i wanted to hear

it's a day after my cell phone rang and my brother was on the other end with news of my dad's operation.

i knew the news wasn't good even before i flipped open my cell phone. it was shortly after noon here and i expected to hear from them around mid-afternoon because the surgery was going to take about six hours. as soon as the phone began to ring and i made my way upstairs, i knew the news was bad.

my brother uttered a few words but he couldn't say much. he handed the phone over to his wife who told me what happened.

this info. is based on what i heard yesterday and again today from my sister.

they went in and took a sample of his liver, the good part i'm assuming. after looking at it, they determined that it was heavily scarred. i'm thinking it is scarred from all of the chemo he took. they said it was the heavy chemo from early on. it turns out that docs have encountered situations like this before and the alternative to go ahead with the surgery is negative; the patient ends up dying on the table. the liver can't sustain the operation, the stress of it and it gives out and the patient dies. so they closed up my dad and decided that he could live longer if they didn't operate.

the news wasn't shocking this time around as it was back in sept. and my brain already new that an early call is not a good call.

my dad is in OK spirits, as good as can be expected, anyway. he's accepted the situation and said that perhaps this will make him and everyone else stronger and more united. wow, whaat a way t look at it. he could have gone the route of depression or anger; instead, he's calm and has accepted. my mother appears the same. but she doesn't really show emotion in this case; i haven't seen her or heard her cry about this in a very long time.

i was glad both my siblings were able to go and be there during this time with my mom. it means a lot.

the course of action will change for my father. he will go back to chemo but only after two months' rest from it. i don't know the facts of how much and how often or what type of chemo. that is something i will have to find out in the next few days.

what a week. what a week.